A Christmas Wish
by fashiongirl97
Summary: 'I gave him his Christmas wish, gave him back what he thought he'd lost forever, and in doing so I paid the price of losing him.' she gave him his wish, now her problems are stacking up as possibly her final battle begins...
1. A Wish is Granted

_**Disclaimer I don't own NCIS**_

_**I've had a story similar to this in my head for a year or so now, and I've finally decided to write it. Now the second chapter and possibly third will be a crossover with CSI : Miami. But I will change it to that when it comes to it. (no real need to have seen CSI : Miami b4 though).**_

_**Okay, so in this story it is series 5. Erm, I will say this now so no one moans (not that you would (: ) If you are wanting a happy go lucky story line then this isn't it, this will be really angsty and most likely make you cry at some point as well as laugh too hopefully.**_

_**Errmm oh yeah ships: JIBBS romance/friendship at the beginning.**_

_**JONY friendship only.**_

_**Shannon/Gibbs romance**_

_**So please enjoy…**_

Leroy Jethro Gibbs is a man few people believe to understand, yet one even fewer actually do. Three people to be precise: Shannon, Kelly and Jenny. They are the only people that have ever truly understood him. Others had come close such as Ducky and Kate, yet neither had ever gotten to the peek. Shannon had always understood him since the first day they met, like it was meant to be. She had been the love of him life for many years, Kelly had been young but then again the most amazing person he had ever met. Losing them two ad broken his heart, he'd never expected to love again. Then Jenny had arrived, she was fierce and beautiful, the most intelligent and caring woman he had ever met. She had taught him something he never expected to learn again, she taught him to love again. Then she left. And God knew they had both been tipped and rocked all over the place but there they stood; fourteen years after they had first met, kissing under a strand of mistletoe strategically placed by Abby.

Tonight was Christmas Eve. The whole team, Abby, ducky and the director were gathered at Gibbs' house. There was a party in full swing as they all laughed and danced. Jenny though couldn't help but feel nervous exited and sad. Because yesterday she had found out something that would make the man she loved the happiest she had ever seen him, the nerves were in case it all went wrong. At the same time as making him happy, she would tear her heart into a thousand pieces, he would smile and she would lose the love of her life forever. Now as she kissed him, her head told her to stop because she was only worsening the agony. Yet her heart told her to continue because she was saying her last goodbye.

The clock struck 22 00 and Jenny pulled away with a sad smile. Walking away she left Gibbs feeling content for the first time since Paris. The party continued as she walked outside, she rested her head against the wall and breathed in the cold winter air. She took deep breaths keeping back the tears that threatened to come flowing out. As a car pulled up she composed herself and walked over. Out walked a red headed woman, she was older than Jenny by a few years, she wore smile lines and her red hair wasn't quite so bright. But she had a softer appearance; she wore a white blouse and jeans with pumps, and wooden jewellery. Although older she was none the less beautiful. She was followed out by a younger red head. She was only in her twenties; unlike her mother she had a much more unique style. She wore her long bright red hair lose yet curled. Skinny jeans were paired with a patterned t-shirt and black blazer with rolled up sleeves. She wore patent leather black stilettoes. Her mother's make up was natural yet the girl's was heavier with black eyeliner and mascara making her lashes look longer. Beauty radiated off the pair, and whilst the daughter was the splitting image of her mother she had blue eyes which were all so familiar to Jenny. Standing with the pair she felt slightly left out, they were both happy and relaxed, one was young and the other had aged well while Jenny felt like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Jenny walked out of the shadows and greeted the pair. She had told to the older woman about the man they were here to see. Told her about the history and his loves, but missed out herself. Because telling them of her relationship would make matters only harder. So Jenny was simply the director to both women, and that was how she wanted it.

"Mrs Gibbs, Miss Gibbs." She greeted both women.

"Kelly please, I get called by my surname so much at work."

"And it's Shannon."

"Very well."

"Before we go in, I want to thank you, for doing this. I thought I'd spend my whole life with just the memories of my dad, not I get to see him again. Honestly you have no idea how much this means to me, to both of us." Said Kelly. Jenny was surprised to see the younger woman was not filling up. But then again after all she had been through she was used to putting on a brave front.

"Gibbs, he's an amazing man. This will make him happy and after all that he has been through, all he's done for others it is about time he had a miracle of his own. It was only my pleasure." Replied Jenny.

"Can we go in!"

"Kelly!" scolded her mother."

"It's fine, fifteen years is a long time, you are bound to be exited, come on." Stated Jenny as she led them inside. Yet she wanted to say something first so left them just outside the door.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs and Christmas had never gone hand in hand, well not in a long time. But this year was different, it wasn't because of the presents, because of the party or music, it was simply because this year he was surrounded by his quirky, dysfunctional adopted family. Tony was chasing around Ziva with a sprig of mistletoe in his hand, Ducky was talking Tim's ear off or as he saw it enthralling the younger man. Only Ducky didn't see the glances he gave to Abby which screamed 'help me!' Only she was busy with the music, or at least that's what she told herself.

As Jenny walked in Abby did as she had been requested and turned the music off. She didn't know why but the director had asked her to do so and as it seemed important Abby had agreed to do so. The room fell silent and all eyes went on Jenny. "Jethro, I know we agreed not to get presents this year but when I found these two yesterday, and it was only yesterday, I thought I had better give them back to you. Happy Christmas Jethro." As she spoke he could hear all the emotion in her voice, excitement, regret, sadness, nerves all in all she sounded so bitter sweat. He didn't understand why until he saw walk through the door two people who he'd never expected to see. "shan, kell?" he questioned in barely an audible voice.

"Hello Jethro." Shannon responded.

"hey dad." Said Kelly.

Speechlessness was something Gibbs was not often yet now he was. He walked over to where they stood and placed a hand on Shannon's face. She was more beautiful than he had remembered. Gently he kissed her and she smiled. "I love Shannon." He said.

"I love you too Jethro." The red head responded.

"Erm, about to be sick here!" stated Kelly in a sarcastic tone.

"Kell." Responded Jethro a huge smile on his face. "Look at you all grown up, 25, just how your mother used to look." She just laughed, and he hugged her, both of them. He couldn't ever remember being that happy in a long time. In that moment just the three of them existed.

"Aren't you going to introduce you to your friends Jethro?" questioned Shannon.

"Yeah dad, who's the fit one?" questioned Kelly looking at Tony.

"Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, but you can call me tony." He said stepping forward, only to receive a head slap.

"Try hitting on my daughter again DiNozzo and it'll be more than your head I slap got it?"

"Yes boss, won't happen again boss."

"Dad!" responded a shocked Kelly, meanwhile Shannon just laughed.

"What are you laughing at?" questioned Gibbs whilst hugging his wife.

"Jethro, she is 25, stop being so protective!"

"Hang on I told you when she was born I was locking her in her room until she was 30! I meant it."

"Dad!" said Kelly.

"Any way Jethro, introduce us!"

"Oh, yeah sorry shan. Right this is Tony who you have already met, he's my senior field agent. Tim and Ziva are my other two. Then there is Abs, who is our forensic scientist. I suppose in a way Kel, they are all your siblings. Then this is Ducky, he's the granddad of the group…" Gibbs introduced them all, not even realising Jenny was missing. They all were talking and getting along for the next half hour, then Ducky silently excused himself and went outside.

_**xXx**_

Jenny had left the party 45 minutes before, now she was at outside. It was so hard to watch Jethro with Shannon, she was happy for them, both of them. At the same time though it was like someone was stabbing her through the heart. It was too hard to stay and watch. That is why she was not sat on the edge of the path round the back, staring into the sky.

Ducky walked up behind her and placed his jacket over her bare shoulders. She smiled at the gesture. "What are you doing out here my dear?" he questioned as he sat down.

"Needed some air Ducky."

"Now we both know that's not true." Silence fell between the pair. "It was a very selfless thing you've done my dear."

"Selfless or stupid Ducky?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because by making him happy I've lost him."

"Now we both know that isn't true."

"So why is it you out her and not him?" silence fell again. "Any way, it's over now, I've done what I wanted now it's time for me to take the back door."

"Jennifer…"

"I…I could die Ducky, I'm not going to give him his family back then make him watch me die."

"You wouldn't be making him my dear…"

"No but he'd do it. It's time to face the face the music."

"Jennifer you have never taken the back door."

"No, but I am this time. I'm ill Ducky, he can't fix it and it'll kill him to watch. 'Sometimes you have to accept what is in front of you and move on', didn't you tell me that?2

"I did my dear."

"I have a brother, Horatio, he lives in Miami and has asked me to come and live with him. I'm going there tonight. The hospital says it would be better because nurses would be nearer and by not working the chances of it working are higher. Some days I have good days, some I have bad days. Recently the bad has outnumbered the good."

"And NCIS."

"I've quit."

"It was your dream though."

"Sometimes your dreams just aren't what life had planned."

"I can't say I think it's the right decision all around my dear, but I've learnt one thing about you over the years and that is not to attempt changing your mind. I wish you all the best my dear." He responded kissing her cheek.

"Here is my new address." She said handing him a piece of paper. "Tell Shannon I have given Jethro a week of leave time. Give the address to those who notice I'm gone and you are all welcome. One thing I ask though Ducky…"

"Anything my dear."

"Don't tell Jethro until you absolutely have to. The whole point of this had been to make him happy. I don't want to wreck all that."

"Goodbye Jennifer." He said hugging the younger woman.

"Goodbye Ducky."

As she left he knew the whole world would change now, and he couldn't help but feel sorry for the younger woman, because by making the man she loved happy, she had ripped her heart in two. That was something few women would ever do…

_**Please review and let me know what you thought.**_

_**Thanks for reading**_

_**xxx**_


	2. A new beginning

_**Disclaimer: Not mime! :'(**_

_**Okay, so thank you all so very very much for your reviews, they do mean a hell of a lot to me. **_

_**Here is the next chapter and I hope it doesn't disappoint. Erm…I have decided or rather figured out this will be most likely four chapters long with the next being set around a week after this. **_

_**So here it is, one thing I would like to say is that the song in the first part is 'angel' by Beverly Mitchell. It is one of my all-time favourite songs so I would advise listening to it, ideally whilst reading this as I think it fits perfectly.**_

_**Enjoy…**_

Jenny left Ducky sat in there in Jethro's Garden that night. She didn't look back into the house as she left, she couldn't. Seeing him laughing with his family, smiling would be too bitter sweat. She was happy for him, she had given him the ultimate gift, but the feeling she had lost him just as they were getting close again…it overwhelmed the sweetness. So she went, not looking back or thinking, she got into her car and began the five hour drive to Miami.

As she left the bright lights of evening in DC and was met by a country road she rolled down her window a fraction and let in the biting winters night breeze to awaken her senses. She was leaving Dc for the last time. Leaving Jethro for the second time, yet this time the thought: 'It's best for him'. That was true but it gave her no comfort this time around. 'Cause this time she wouldn't be returning in a few years, this time she probably wouldn't be here in a few years' time. Even if she was she would refuse to come back. This time it was for good. She'd made her bed now she had to lie in it.

As the country roads wound on and the red head drove she turned up the window to warm herself up. The cold air was doing nothing so there was no point in causing her health any more damage. Turning up the radio she let the Lyrics of the country song was over her and she began to relate to the words.

_Have you ever met an angel?  
>Whose smile is like the sun,<br>Whose laugh is like a melody,  
>That reaches everyone.<em>

_Have you ever hugged an angel?  
>Swept up in their embrace,<br>I swear there's nothing,  
>In this world that makes you feel that safe,<em>

_Have you ever really loved an angel?  
>Once you have you'll never be the same again,<br>Have you ever had to let go of an angel?  
>Say goodbye,<br>Let 'em fly,  
>My angel,<br>My best friend,_

_Have you ever felt the strength of an angel?  
>When you needed it the most,<br>Lifted by those gentle wings,  
>You know you're not alone,<br>Every now and then I feel the piece inside,  
>Where ever life may take me,<br>I'm guided by that light,_

_Have you ever really loved an angel?  
>Once you have you'll never be the same again,<br>Have you ever had to let go of an angel?  
>Say goodbye,<br>Let 'em fly,  
>My angel,<br>My best friend,_

'_Cause I have really loved an angel,  
>How could I ever be the same?<br>'Cause I have had to let go of my angel,  
>Say goodbye,<br>Let 'em fly,  
>My angel,<br>My best friend._

The end of the song played out, it sounded through the silence. Jenny felt strangely affected by the song; it made her think of the angels in her life. Of all the times her father had guided her, when he was alive and now. IT made her think of Horatio, of how she never had thanked him for all the things he'd done, from petty like covering for her as a teenager when she'd been out late, and after her father's death when she'd nearly broken down. Now at least she would get the chance to thank him, spend time and hopefully repay him for all the things he had done of the years. Yet the last verse, the last verse made her think of someone altogether different from the two men in her life. Jethro, the last verse had brought him back, she'd loved him, lost him. Never would she see a so called perfect man in the same way. He'd been her best friend, her best friend. And she had had to let him got so that he would be happy. As hard as it was she knew deep down, beneath the sadness and sorrow, beneath the regret and self-pity that it was the best friend.

She drove on and on that night. She drove not stopping once for coffee. The reason: because facing anyone, even a complete and utter stranger would be too hard. Having someone recognise her from the news would be too hard, because then they'd want to know how life was, asked for a picture…all things she couldn't deal with. The only thing Jenny wanted was to get to Miami and go to her beach front cabin. It had been her graduation present and although she had never spent an awful lot of time there she had never even considered selling it. In a way it felt right, if this was to be her final battle, her final few months, spending it in the company of her brother and in the cabin from her father would be how she wanted it. So she drove the thought of awakening tomorrow to look out onto the small quiet beach in front of her in mind.

Four and a half hours since she had left the bright lights of DC she arrived at Miami. She took the familiar beach front road which only the locals used. Locals: she supposed she was one of them now. She rolled down her window once more, only this time the breeze wasn't quite so cold now, now the car began to fill with a fresh sea breeze. The smell brought a faint smile to her face, because she remembered the first time she had smelt the sea as a child. Her mother was ill, with the same thing Jenny now had. Only her mum was nearer the end yet had begged her husband to take them all down to Miami and their large cabin on the sea front. Jest like Jenny's. Her mum had wanted to see the sea one last time and let her children see it for the first time.

Maybe that was why Jenny wanted to spend her possibly last few months here, so that she could be closer to her mother, spiritually. Maybe it was just because Miami held memories of a happier time.

_**xXx**_

Ducky had done as Jenny asked, he'd gone back inside and not said a word of the events that had just unravelled mere moments ago. It hurt him to see his friends enjoying themselves when he knew the 'mother' of them all was most likely driving away crying her heart out. He'd known something was wrong, known since the day he'd found a bottle of bourbon in her bin. His initial thought had obviously she had drunk it but then after finding her bathroom smelt of the drink he'd known she had tipped it away. Jenny had gotten the taste from Jethro and with it the habit of not wasting it. Tipping away would mean she couldn't drink it anymore. He'd known then it mustn't have been out of choice.

The party began to dye down. The team were all sat around the table in the launge playing cards, joined by Kelly. Tony and the girl had hit it off immediately and were getting close. Shannon had noticed and was pleased; Gibbs meanwhile was oblivious as he was too amazed by the incredible woman sat next to him. He smiled to himself. Ducky on the other hand was beginning to grow tired and frustrated with the scene unravelling. 'How could they all just not notice she was gone?' he thought to himself. He'd thought he'd be giving out her address within an hour, yet three hours later no one had even commented on the fact she was gone. Not even Jethro. So he left, giving Shannon a word about Jethro's holiday and leaving.

What Ducky didn't know was that one person had noticed she wasn't there: Tony. A man most thought to just be a playboy, yet he was actually a very observing man, much thanks to Gibbs' training. Tony had noticed with half an hour but said nothing. Not because he didn't care, simply because of the fact he was guessing the older woman must be having a hard time grasping the fact that one moment she was kissing Gibbs under the mistletoe and the next she was hugging his wife. Tony had nothing but admiration for Jenny. But he wondered what on earth had made her do it, because in reality she had just thrown away her happiness…

_**I hope you enjoyed it…**_

…_**please leave me a review they mean a lot…**_

…_**thanks again…**_

_**xXx**__  
><em> 


	3. A Secret no More

_**Disclaimer: not mine**_

_**Ok, this has taken me 2 days and I'm not mega happy with it but here you go. The least angsty yet, but the next will be so sad…happy new year and enjoy…**_

A week had passed since that Christmas Eve when Jethro's life had been revived. Since his, near enough, lifelong Christmas wish had been granted. What a week it had been. The team had stayed over on Christmas Eve then spent Christmas day together, as the family that they were at heart. That day had been the best day of his life. He'd had his extended family around him, and he'd smiled more than he ever had before-well in a long time anyway.

Shannon had cooked a Christmas dinner, even though she had at first been daunted by the task of cooking for so many people whom all obviously meant ever so much to her husband. Meanwhile Kelly was helping her father put up the decorations. She had been horrified to find the house she had grown up in to be clear of any decorations. So, she helped her dad. They put up the tree together, hung tinsel from photo frames and book cases, pinched mistletoe from their neighbours and then hung it at every possible doorframe (Gibbs was certainly going to make use of that!). The pair had had so much fun spending time together. Jethro had been so stunned at first by how his little girl had grown up, but now, now he was simply proud of her. He'd found out she worked for MI-5 and loved it. So far he hadn't asked any questions as to where they had been for so long, this was simply because he didn't want to spoil the moment.

Shannon had smiled whist cooking that dinner. Usually she had gotten into the habit of cooking with music on, but she had her own music being made for her. The sound of Kelly's care free laughter filled the house, mingles with the rare sound of her husband's laughter too. IT was such a simple thing that to most would mean nothing, but for her it meant the world. Just because it had been such a long time since that noise had graced her ears, and that was what made her smile from ear to ear.

These events were all going on during the time in which the team had gone back to their own homes to get changed and get each other's presents. Once they returned to the now transformed grotto the day went perfectly. They exchanged their presents although Gibbs had already gotten his. At dinner Gibbs sat at the head of the table with his girls around him. Abby and Kelly had hit it off ever since Abby had seen the decorations. This therefore made Gibbs very happy. When six O'clock hit the team filed out so that the newly re-united family could continue in piece.

It seemed no one had noticed Jenny's lack of presence. No one commented when a stack of presents for her piled up in a corner. No-one that is but Tony and Abby. These two both noticed that their friend was missing. Tony was first, he'd noticed last night but not commented. Abby she noticed her friends shorter temper and of course the pile of presents. But neither commented. The rest simply assumed that she was with Ducky and didn't give it a second thought, these two though, they thought realised that it would hurt to see Jethro so happy. None the less they didn't say a word on that Christmas day.

**The Gibbs' Residence – Washington DC**

A week had passed, and it had been the best week of Gibbs' life, he'd smiled none stop and loved spending time with his wife and daughter. Now he was sat in his bedroom with Shannon as she got changed. To mark the last day of his holiday, he was taking his family out to restaurant they always went years ago.

He smiled as he saw how beautiful his wife still was, he red hair had now the occasional grey, and she had aged. Then again so had he. But none the less she looked amazing. She wore a hugging purple dress with long sleeves which fell just above her knee. Her hair was tied in a a small pony tail and she looked elegant. Like a mother and the Gibbs had always loved to see her. "You know this week has been the best i've had in ages." He commented.

"Me too."

"Shan…I love you and I don't want to wreck this…it's just…i…-" he stumbled.

"You want to know what happened, why we haven't seen you sooner."

"Yeah. It's just I need to know."

"I understand. After the crash I can't say I know exactly what happened, all I remember is one minute we are all fine an on our way to Kelly's ballet lesson and the next I'm waking up in some hospital. The first thing I did was panic, worry where our little girl was. But the nurses took me to see her and a month after I woke up so did she. Thank god she was alright. I never noticed the nurses accents until Kel was on the mend again. That's when I started asking questions, Why were we in England? Where were you? Were you ok? It took me a while but eventually I got answers.

"Turns out the guy I witnessed found out and he was after us, he and the rest of the world including you believed we were dead, and even though you killed him he had a group of people who were apparently still after us. I took me a long time to come to grasps with the fact that maybe I'd never see you again. But I did, simply because of Kelly. I managed to pull myself together and get them to put her into a school so she could live as ordinary life as possible considering we were in WP.

"Once she finished 6th form she didn't want to go to uni, she wanted to become a cop. Always had ever since she found out the truth of what had happened after the crash. But, with us still technically being WP even though the rules had relaxed, it was still too much of a risk. So, there was a guy I'd become quite good friends with who was high up in the protection, I had a word and he managed to get her a place in MI-5, section D. Now she deals with anti- terrorism in the UK, and from next week she is doing a 6 month secondment with the FBI doing god only knows what."

"My little Girl a cop! I never imagined it!" stated Gibbs.

"No, neither did i."

"I'm proud of her, and you, for going through this whole thing. Thank you, for telling me. It means a lot!" he said kissing her fore head. "Come on then, dinner!"

**NCIS headquarters – Washington DC**

For the team the last week had been manic. With Gibbs on holiday Tony had been in charge so the 'campfires' and made a re-appearance. They had had cases every day, in fact for three days they had had two cases on at once. McGee had had to help Abby with the truck loads of evidence she had down in her lab which left Just Tony and Ziva in the field. Thankfully today was Friday and they had finished their case at 02 00 that morning. The director had as a thank you then taken them off the rota so as the allow team to catch up on paper work for Gibbs' return.

By 15 00 they had all finished so Tony had said McGee and Ziva could go home. He then went down to Abby who for once was actually free. "Hey Abs!" he shouted over the music.

"Tony!" she replied giving him a bone crushing hug before turning her music down. "So what brings you down to my humble lab?"

"I was just wondering if you've seen Jenny since Christmas Eve ,only she wasn't their on Christmas day and I haven't seen her all week. Plus Vance has been wearing her heals again."

"No, I haven't now I think about it! Do you think she'd too upset because she has lost Gibbs? Or is she ill? Maybe she hates up? Oh God she hates us, Tony what-"

"Abs! she won't hate us. Why don't we ask Ducky? They were good friends 'back in the day', maybe he knows."

"Good thinking Tony!" she then head slapped him.

"OW! What was that for?"

"Not coming up with that idea earlier! Now come on?"

_**xXx**_

The pair walked into autopsy to see Ducky and Palmer doping paperwork too. "Abigail, Anthony, well this is a surprise. IT is not often I see you two down here together. We do not have a new guest for my table do we?"

"No Duck we don't. Erm…we were wondering if you've seen Jenny recently, only we are worried about her." Stated Tony.

"Ah, Mr palmer please go take a break." Sated the old doctor.

"Yes Dr. Mallard." Said the assistant.

"I'm guessing seeming as you sent the gremlin away that you know something."

"That I do my boy, that I do. I take it you have noticed she is not here."

"We have Ducky, where is she."

"My dear, Jenny has quit."

"Oh my god, she hates us! I told you tony she hates us, she doesn't want to be around so she's left and she hates us to the bones, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god she hates us I've never been hated before except for that boyfriends but never mind about him she hates us Tony!"

"Abs, Abs slow down! She doesn't hate us!"

"My dear, she has not left because she hates you."

"So why Ducky?" questioned Abby.

"I think, my dear that is for her to tell you. Now she gave me an address if you would like it I would be more than happy to let you go and see her. I'm sure she can explain better than I."

"Thank you Ducky." Said Abby.

"So Abs, you ready for a road trip?"

"Hell yeah!"

**Jenny's residence – Miami**

A week living alone. A week away from him, from them all. Not a call, but that's what she wanted wasn't it? For them not to have to know, only if they wanted? Then again, what you think you want isn't always what you do.

Jenny was on her new treatment now, and the doctors said that if she relaxed it had a better chance of working. So that's what she was going to do. Thanks to her brother she was now having fun; he was her rock, stopped by daily and had even promised her a part time job when she was better. It wouldn't be for the money, simply for something to do.

Some days for the former director were good, others were unfortunately bad. Today was a bad day, the worst so far in fact. The new treatment was an alternative to radio therapy, instead with this she received injections. This treatment was more effective with more aggressive forms of cancer which is why jenny was having it. Although it was a more effective treatment for aggressive cancers it had side effects, yet for Jenny it was her only chance of recovery. So that morning she had spent over the toilet being sick, now at 19 30 she was lying on the couch in her cabin watching as the sun set, knowing in just over an hour her brother would arrive and worry. That thought made her smile, it had been a long time since she'd had someone to worry over her.

Jenny was in a world of her own as she lay under an old blanket re living memories of a time when she would watch the sun set in Serbia wrapped in the arms of Jethro. Although she knew it was only causing her more agony she couldn't help but remember happier times.

The red head was brought from her thoughts by a knock at the door. Knowing it was too early for Horatio and she wasn't expecting any guests she grabbed her SIG from below the couch and opened the door. Surprise filling her as she saw who it was. "Tony, Abby? What the hell are you doing here?" she asked walking slowing inside with them following her.

"Well when we never saw you after the party or at work we got worried. Ducky gave us your address. Looks like we came in time. What's going on Jenny?" questioned Tony as she nearly fell over he helped her down onto the sofa.

"It's a long story."

"Well we are in no rush." Said Abby sitting down.

"Three months ago I was diagnosed with cancer. Two weeks later they found out radio therapy would not work, the cancer is to aggressive. /So they told me about an experimental treatment which is a series of injections. It works bette3r on aggressive cancer, but the success rate is low. Those who do have a successful treatment then go on to live normal lives. The problem is though, that there are many side effects, nausea and weakness are some of them. That's why I'm like this, not all days are like this though, todays just a bad one."

"Okay, but why go, why leave, we'd have stood by you."

"Abs, I couldn't force that on you. The day before Christmas eve I was back tracing evidence for one of the teams with short staff. I stumbled on a witness protection service. I took a look and found Shannon and Kelly's names. I rung up the supervisor and after a long long conversation and convincing them they would be under no threat in DC they agreed to let them come if and on if they wanted. I then spoke to them both and they agreed."

"I still don't get it! Why go?"

"Abs, this was my gift to Jethro. He'd always looked out for me, for all of us. It's about time he got his lifelong wish back. But I knew that in doing so I'd lose him, I couldn't just go: 'oh Jethro here is the women you love back, but oh, yeah I have cancer and may die'. Even if I didn't tell him I couldn't make him chose, and if he chose her make him feel guilty. I couldn't watch as she made him laugh and smile. It would hurt too much."

"But why go, why just leave us all?"

"I figured if I left it was up to you if you wanted to know about the cancer, I wasn't forcing it on you. So I left."

"why Miami though, other than the hot babes obviously and all the movie sets."

"The fit guys!" she joked. "I have a brother, Horatio who lives here and this place. It just seemed to fit…look even though you both know about all this now. I don't expect you to stay, to worry. I don't mind if you go back to DC and forget. I'll cope."

"I don't care. You are my friend , and I have lost too many people in my life to lose you. Kate, Paula, Jeanne, I'm not adding you to that list. I'm standing by your side." Said Tony.

"I will too." They both hugged the older woman and she smiled feeling truly content for the first time that week.

"One thing I ask…don't tell anyone. Let them realise if they want."

"Cause." They replied in unison.

That evening the three and Horatio spent the evening reliving memories and laughing. All fell asleep on the sofas, and jenny smiled. Suddenly the daunting thought of her illness didn't quite seem so daunting with friends around her, only if she had the man she loved…but that would never happen and she knew that fact all too well…

_**Thanks for all your reviews so far,**_

_**Please keep them coming **____** xx**_


	4. This is Goodbye

_**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS**_

_**Here it is, I'm sad after writing this!  
>I hope you all enjoy it. If you would like an epilogue then please review and tell me because I will mark it as complete yet I am willing to do an epilogue.<br>If any of you are recognising the ending have used the Galex farewell from the final Ashes to Ashes as I thought it fit beautifully so I can't say that was my own bit.**_

_**I hope you all enjoy and please leave me a review telling me what you think. **_

It had been a month since Tony and Abby had come to visit now.

Since then they'd all found out, all come to visit too. All except Gibbs. But that was a good thing wasn't it? Because that meant he was moving on, that he was happy with his family. That was what she had wanted-wasn't it?

Yesterday she'd found out something, something she hoped was a lie, a cock up. But knew all too well deep down was the truth.

Then, last night she gathered all those close who knew in MTAC and told them. Told them the truth, the thing she had yet to come to grips with. Abby had been the first to cry. She'd broken down as soon as the words had left the older woman's mouth. Her sobs had filled the silent room. The young girls' only comfort had been Tim who had embraced her in a hug. But soon, soon the occasional silent tears were running down his cheek too. The usually hard Ziva had broken down like no one in that room had ever seen her do before. Jenny was her best friend, her mother figure and to suddenly find out…the young woman's walls had just dropped. She'd fallen to the floor and cried. Tony had soothed her but with glassy eyes and tears rolling down his cheeks too. Cynthia had held onto Ducky as though he were her life support. Ducky, he had just looked at the woman he had grown to consider a daughter on the screen with a sad look. He just could not comprehend what she had told them all. She was strong, brave, courageous. But looking at her now, she wasn't the same woman. Deep down of course she was. But to anyone who didn't know her six months ago, well they wouldn't even begin to believe those qualities had once described her. Now she was sat on the web cam, tears rolling down her cheeks, bags under her eyes, pale skin and there was nothing on her. That's what hurt Ducky the most seeing what the illness had transformed her into.

Today the bullpen was silent. Autopsy was silent, the lab was silent, no music played. Cynthia was silent. Although only six people knew, the whole of NCIS was silent, there was an un easy feeling everywhere.

Tony was sat with Ziva. Their chairs next to each other, and his arm around her shoulder. Their tears had died down now to just sad faces. Tony was planting gentle kisses on his partners head to calm her down, to let her n=know he was there for her. Across the bull pen at McGee's desk, Tim sat with Abby on his knee. She had her arms wrapped around him. None of them cared about the strange looks they got off other agents; they just wanted that small amount of comfort they could give each other.

Gibbs walked into the bull pen in a good mood just like any other day since his family had come back. When he walked into the teams area he was shocked at the scene in front of him. Annoyed they would even consider breaking one of him rules he simply stated "Rule 12" in a gruff voice. When no one responded he tried again. "Oi! Am I talking to myself? Rule 12! Ring any bells?" They all glared at him.

"My best friend is dying: Jenny, Does that name ring any bells Gibbs? Does it because she gave you everything an…and n…n…now she's dying! She's dying Gibbs and you didn't even notice she was gone!" Ziva was hysterical, tears rolling down her face. Gibbs face was full of shock as Tony rose and hugged the Israeli. The rest of the team gathered round her. "I respected you! Though of you as a father, but you simply couldn't give a damn." With that they all went off into the lift.

That was when Gibbs noticed they were all in their spare cloths. That's when he also noticed the tear tracks down all their faces. He ran up to the Directors office not knowing Jenny wasn't there. "She in?" he questioned Cynthia, but she simply ignored him. "For god's sake, is she in?"

"That's a sick joke special agent Gibbs."

"What?"

"She left Gibbs, over a month ago."

"Why?"

"You make me sick" she stated walking off.

"Why?" he shouted after her only she once more ignored her. Walking out of the outer office he went to get coffee.

_**xXx**_

The team sat in Abby's lab. They were all in a circle, photos in front of them. Ziva had gone home last night and got all her photos from Cairo before stopping at Jenny's old Georgetown house where she used the spare key to go in and get the photo's she knew were hidden under her bed. Now they sat there, Lady Antebellum playing softly in the back ground. "Jenny loves Lady Antebellum." Stated Tony. They all gave him a quizzical look. "When I was doing the frog thing, I dropped into hers one night to give her an update. One of their CD's was playing. She said she loved the lyrics." He smiled sadly and Ziva squeezed his hand gently.

"Ha! I can't believe she has kept this! She told me she had burnt it!" laughed Ziva. But her voice was cracking, as if she was about to cry. In her hand she held a photo of herself in a tiny red dress; it was too low to be considered appropriate and too short to be redeemed. "I'd gone undercover as 'a lady of the night' once whilst we were supposed to be on holiday. I was a last minute mission for NCIS. Jenny would have done it but she'd already met the people once. She took a photo of me posing at the end. We were both highly drunk at the time."

And so the four continued to share stories with each other. Tony slipped out halfway through though knowing Gibbs would want answers.

_**xXx**_

Tony DiNozzo was known for being a play boy, but he also stuck up for his friends when they needed him. So know he was going to explain to Gibbs what he needed to know. "What are you doing here DiNozzo."

"Figured you'd want answers boss."

"Yu gonna give me 'em."

"Yeah, if you want me to."

"Yeah, yeah I do."

"Well then. I take it you know how Jenny found Shannon and Kelly."

"Yeah, she found out whilst back tracking evidence. What I don't get is why she never told me or left."

"She left because she didn't want to make things harder for you, so you could just move on and not have to worry." Gibbs roughly ran his hand through his hair.

"what else DiNozzo, 'cause I sure as hell know that's not why you all seem to hater me and stayed here last night. That's not why Ziva cried and why you lot all have glassy eyes like you could cry so what else."

"Do you care about her?"

"Jenny; yeah. Why?"

"Because I'll only tell you if you actually care."

"DiNozzo, I care about Jen, I'd die a hundred times over for her."

"That's all I needed. Jenny didn't just leave so you could be happy with your family. She left because she had a viscous cancer; she was undergoing treatment to cure it. She left so you, all of us didn't have to watch, we all had a choice. If we noticed she was gone and wanted to find her she would tell us. If we didn't then she saw no point in burdening us with it."

"Was, saw, why the past tense?"

"Boss-"

"DiNozzo. Why?"

Tony sat on the edge of his desk and ran his hand through his hair. He looked at his boss through glassy, sad eyes. "No, no she …not Jen. No she can't-"started Gibbs.

"Not yet." The younger man stood up and placed a hand on his bosses shoulder. "It's terminal. I'm sorry boss, nothing can be done."

"H-how long does she have?"

"A month, two if she's lucky. I can't tell you anymore." He handed the older man a piece of paper. "That's where she is. Go see her boss. If only to say bye, I'd mean a lot to her."

Tony walked away. Tears pricked his eyes as he realised the true reality of what was happening. His friend, mother figure, boss, sister even, was dying. He was losing her…he was losing another friend, another mother.

"Tony" shouted Gibbs looked to the younger man. Tony turned around to look at Gibbs. "Thank you." The younger man simply nodded and returned to the rest of them in the lab.

_**xXx**_

A month, two if she was lucky. Then again, the extra month would be painful, she'd be weak. So maybe two months would be unlucky. Deep down Jenny supposed she'd always known she probably wouldn't make it. Looking back the bad days had outnumbered the good. At least she had her friends though…but no Gibbs. All she wanted was for him to say goodbye. They hadn't said good bye. She'd kissed him, that had sort of been a good bye.

Now though sat on the sand down by the sea, it was nearly five and the sun was beginning to set. She sat with a blanket wrapped around her. She may be in Miami but she was constantly cold these days. Horatio was inside making something to eat. He'd been great, moved in as soon as he saw her getting worse and looked out for her without being over powering. She knew it was hard for him; he'd lost his mum and dad like her. The he'd lost his wife, then his brother. Jenny and his nephew were all he had left. Losing Jenny, it'd kill him.

Teats began to fall as she watched each tide come in, wiping away a little bit more of the days activities each time. She sat there remembering her past. She remembered playing down her with Horatio as a kid and with Raymond, her other brother. She remembered how they'd reacted when they found out she'd Joined NCIS, H. had been over protective as usual and Ray, he'd been Brazil. She remembered the funerals. She remembered Jethro, how she'd loved him. How they'd laughed and fought. That brought more tears to her face. But she wiped them away.

The drive had been long, filled with memories of Jen. Dreading what he'd find when he saw her. He arrived at the beach house. Getting out of the car her saw a figure sat down by the sea. The fading sun caught her hair and he realised it was Jenny. Walking down the beach he composed himself. She looked small, weak as she sat there wrapped in a blanked.

She felt a presence behind her, but she knew who it was. The smell of coffee, bourbon and saw dust over whelmed her senses and she revelled in it. HE sat down beside her. Silence filled the space; but unlike most times it wasn't comfortable.

"How are they?" she questioned. Pain filled her voice.

"Upset. Ziva's crying and no doubt Abby too. I'm pretty sure they stayed over last night."

Silence again. She felt the tears roll down her face.

"How are you?"

"Shan and Kell are happy. Kell's working with one of the alphabet soup lot."

Jenny smiled. "How are you though?"

"Shocked Jen. Why didn't you tell me, I could have helped"

"No Jethro. I didn't want to make things harder for you. Didn't want to make you choose between us. It would have hurt too much. The cancer, I couldn't go 'hey here's your family back, oh and by the way I have a very rare and possibly life threatening cancer. Thought you would like to know. '"

"I'll stand by you Jen."

"No, no Jethro." Tears were running down her cheeks freely now. She turned to face his. His eyes looked deep into her. Averting her vision she said: "You…you need to go home, you need to spend your time with your amazing, beautiful daughter and you wife. And you…you need to move on….you need to forget about me and live your life."

"Jen I will never forget you. I couldn't. I love you, always have, and always will. It's…it's just-" she silenced him with a finger over his lips. Tears ran down his cheeks just like hers.

"I get it Jethro, I always have. She'd the one, always will be. You shouldn't feel guilty."

"I'll miss you Jen, but we've had some good times. I'll never forget them or you Jenny, no one will do."

She smiled sadly, the tears running freely now. "Good bye Jethro." He leaned in and softly kissed her. It was sad and slow. Their tears mingling. Once it was done he leant his head against hers. This was good bye. This was it, friends departing, a lover's farewell.

"Goodbye Jethro." She said in a quiet voice. Tears still rolled as they both realised this was the end. This was the last fare well. If he stayed any longer they'd put it off longer. "go." She whispered.

So he left, tears rolling down his face as he left, and lost another love of his life. This was the end, this was goodbye. A Christmas wish had been granted and by making one happy had pulled them apart. Yet that was fate, and that was their final goodbye…


End file.
